HELL! SAID THE DUCHESS, by Michael Arlen, 1934.

In 1983, Karl Edward Wagner listed Michael Arlen's HELL! SAID THE DUCHESS as one of the thirteen best supernatural horror novels ever written... but why?

For most of its length, the book is hardly the best of anything. More novella than novel, it reads for the most part like a mildly amusing story by Ronald Firbank, but without Firbank's melancholy; like one of Waugh's satires without the sting; like a Wodehouse farce without the clever pratfalls. I found parts of it funny, but with a humour as light and fluffy as meringue:

"Mrs. Nautigale had a pronounced gift for collecting the most intimate friendships possible with men and women who could never overcome their surprise at having been collected. They then found themselves subjected to the alarming process of being pinned down, exhibited and fed in groups of not fewer than twenty, at which it was taken for granted that a good time was being had by all, though no one knew exactly why.

"She was the soul of kindness, gave money freely to the rich, and had built her success as a hostess on having cleverly observed that there is no one like the distinguished Anglo-Saxon for enjoying a series of free meals provided that nothing, and particularly no conversation, is asked of him or her in return."

And so on, for page after page, like Saki without venom. Not even a series of sex-murders committed, it seems, by the chaste and proper Duchess of Dove can darken the mood, and the police investigation is played for laughs:

"My valet and I have been taking it in turns to follow her day and night for several days, and we have also searched her rooms in Camberwell."

"An illegal act," said Icelin. "We also found nothing."

As Arlen's cardboard detectives wander through their investigations, his crisp, imageless prose is consistently arch and amusing, but to little point. The book offers no emotional resonance, no atmosphere, no sense of place, no people to care about, and no sense of horror whatsoever.

But then, in the last twenty pages, Arlen suddenly veers into Arthur Machen territory.

[MILD SPOILER]

His buffoons encounter an Ancient Evil hot for sex and bloodshed:

"He could see nothing at all but her eyes, nothing in the whole world but two eyes. And then he could see two black bright points. He wanted to shut his eyes tight against them, but he was without any will at all. And he felt the coils of a snake around him. He saw the two black bright points of a snake’s eyes reared above his head. He felt his hands caressing the rough sensuous coils. Then he found himself lying on his back on the sofa with her body pressed down on him and her pointed tongue darting in and out of his mouth."

With its predatory sex and supernatural horror, this ending took me by surprise. Its intensity bursts out of nowhere, and undeniably works. Even Arlen's refusal to describe images adds to the sense of danger, as the cardboard characters flinch away from any glimpse of the thing that wants them.

Certain elements in the story, like the hints of a fascist coup and class riots in Great Britain, never add up to anything, which gives the novel a hasty, improvised feel. This impression is reinforced by the climactic shift in tone, by the sudden leap from light amusement to sex-and-death evil. That ending could almost be a separate story grafted onto a failing book.

For this reason, I could never call HELL! SAID THE DUCHESS a good horror novel, but I would still urge readers of horror to skip ahead to those startling final pages.

Yet I still wonder why the hell Karl Edward Wagner called the book great.

Clark Ashton Smith: "The Beast Of Averoigne"

Cover by Bruce Pennington, 1974. Click for a better jpeg.

Good writers are their own best editors. When "The Beast Of Averoigne" was rejected by WEIRD TALES, Clark Ashton Smith revised the story by cutting out entire sections to make it leaner and more focused; he also added significant details to make the story more fantastic. The result, for me, is a great fantasy tale that can easily rival the best work of E. T. A. Hoffmann, Lord Dunsany, or Bruno Schulz. It astonished me when I first read it at the age of ten, and now, five decades later, it remains one of my favourite stories.

The revised version was published in the May, 1933 issue of WEIRD TALES, and begins rapidly with a short prologue:

"Old age, like a moth in some fading arras, will gnaw my memories oversoon, as it gnaws the memories of all men. Therefore I write this record of the true origin and slaying of that creature known as the Beast of Averoigne. And when I have ended the writing, the record shall be sealed in a brazen box, and that box be set in a secret chamber of my house at Ximes, so that no man shall learn the dreadful verity of this matter till many years and decades have gone by. Indeed, it were not well for such evil prodigies to be divulged while any who took part in the happening are still on the earthward side of Purgatory. And at present the truth is known only to me and to certain others who are sworn to maintain secrecy."

This revised version can be found here.

Those who need nothing more than a happy recommendation might want to stop reading this and move on to the story itself, but those interested in the methods used by Smith to make the story great are welcome to continue.

After the prologue, the story runs at a steady pace. The descriptions are brief and conveyed through motion:

"As all men know, the advent of the Beast was coeval with the coming of that red comet which rose behind the Dragon in the early summer of 1369. Like Satan's rutilant hair, trailing on the wind of Gehenna as he hastens worldward, the comet streamed nightly above Averoigne, bringing the fear of bale and pestilence in its train. And soon the rumor of a strange evil, a foulness unheard of in any legend, passed among the people.

"To Brother Gerome of the Benedictine Abbey of Perigon it was given to behold this evil ere the horror thereof became manifest to others. Returning late to the monastery from an errand in Ste. Zenobie, Gerome was overtaken by darkness. No moon arose to lantern his way through the forest; but, between the gnarled boughs of antic oaks, he saw the vengefully streaming fire of the comet, which seemed to pursue him as he went. And Gerome felt an eery fear of the pit-deep shadows, and he made haste toward the abbey postern.

"Passing among the ancient trees that towered thickly behind Perigon, he thought that he discerned a light from the windows, and was much cheered thereby. But, going on, he saw that the light was near at hand, beneath a lowering bough. It moved as with the flitting of a fen-fire, and was of changeable color, being pale as a corposant, or ruddy as new-spilled blood, or green as the poisonous distillation that surrounds the moon.

"Then, with terror ineffable, Gerome beheld the thing to which the light clung like a hellish nimbus, moving as it moved, and revealing dimly the black abomination of head and limbs that were not those of any creature wrought by God. The horror stood erect, rising to more than the height of a tall man; and it swayed like a great serpent, and its members undulated, bending like heated wax. The flat black head was thrust forward on a snakish neck. The eyes, small and lidless, glowing like coals from a wizard's brazier, were set low and near together in a noseless face above the serrate gleaming of such teeth as might belong to a giant bat.

"This much, and no more, Gerome saw, ere the thing went past him with its nimbus flaring from venomous green to a wrathful red. Of its actual shape, and the number of its limbs, he could form no just notion. Running and slithering rapidly, it disappeared among the antique oaks, and he saw the hellish light no more."

The story's vocabulary, physical details, images, metaphors and similes function not only to support the story, but to reinforce the setting and moods of medieval France. They fit the locale and create it simultaneously, all through the magic of carefully-selected words.

Too many stories are written as if the primary unit of information were the paragraph, but as a poet who worked in traditional forms, Clark Ashton Smith understood the need for a tighter focus, not only on the sentence, not only on the clause, but on the word. To this end, he let bare statements do all the work of implication he needed.

"So, on the forenoon of that same day, Theophile, together with Gerome and six others chosen for their hardihood, sallied forth and made search of the forest for miles around. They entered with torches and lifted crosses the deep caves to which they came, but found no fiercer thing than wolf or badger. Also, they searched the crumbling vaults of the deserted castle of Faussesflammes, which was said to be haunted by vampires. But nowhere could they trace the monster or find any sign of its lairing."

This technique let him put the reader into a scene without needless elaboration.

"On the night following the desecration of the graves, two charcoal-burners who plied their trade in the forest not far from Perigon, were slain in their hut. Other charcoal-burners, dwelling near by, heard the shrill screams that fell to sudden silence; and peering fearfully through the chinks of their bolted doors, they saw anon in the starlight the departure of a black, obscenely glowing shape that issued from the hut."

"Peering fearfully through the chinks of their bolted doors" is just enough physical detail to give the scene a sense of place. Smith provided the detail, and then moved on.

His trust in the magic of words made him state briefly what others might feel compelled to spell out in detail.

"Vainly I consulted the stars and made use of geomancy and necromancy; and the familiars whom I interrogated professed themselves ignorant, saying that the Beast was altogether alien and beyond the ken of sublunar spirits."

To bring his medieval setting to life, and to convey the sense of a world beyond this world, Smith relied on down-to-Earth, everyday nouns.

"Once, by full moonlight, a brother peering from his window descried it in the abbey garden, as it glided between the rows of peas and turnips....

"From a rarely opened casket, I brought out the ring of Eibon and made such preparations as were needful for the questioning of the demon. And when the purple stone was held inverted above a small brazier filled with hotly burning amber, the demon made answer, speaking in a voice that was like the shrill singing of fire."

Smith matched his everyday details with touches of pure fantasy. To this end, he solved the problem of his beast with a magical solution that is both carefully-established and justified: not a rabbit from a hat, not a god from the machine, but a Chekhov's gun that, in the context of the story, remains believable as it shoots.

Anyone who needs to write good fantasy, anyone who needs to write good short fiction in general, will gain something from "The Beast Of Averoigne." Many stories that I read when I was ten years old have not survived the passage of time, but this one lives on. It thrives.